Just as you think you have a grasp on things and everything is working out the way you imagine it, life changes things in a complete instance and throws you a curve ball!

We had Melanie’s 18 month old check up yesterday, it was an emotional visit. Melanie is 30 lbs 3 oz and 34 inches. So this puts her in the 97% for height and weight. When they measured her head circumference it was 99% (I didn’t get the exact measurement.) Our pediatrician showed me the scale they use to track Melanie growth and her head measurements have been off the scale for the past several check ups. So, our pediatrician wanted us to get a CT scan of Melanie’s head to check to see if there is any extra fluid or cysts that could be causing her developmental delays. I was a little thrown back by this, but I have read some articles about children who heads are bigger have some delays so it wasn’t a complete shock to me. The CT scan will be done at St. Francis South Hospital this Thursday, April 14th at 8pm, in hopes that Melanie will be tired and holds still for the scan. Deep down I have this gut feeling that the results from the scan will be ok.

What got me the most about the check up was our pediatrician also wants, Melanie evaluated by a developmental pediatrician at Riley Hospital, to see if we can get a diagnosis and this will open up some more services for Melanie.

This caught me off guard completely! It felt like things were moving around me and I couldn’t move to catch my breath. My brain was going 95 million different ways trying to grasp this concept, because I was preparing myself to possibly get a diagnosis for Melanie, if needed, when she was older around 2 1/2 to 3 years old. I hate it when things are sprung on me when there are no indications it was going to happen.

Our pediatrician went on explaining to me that when Michaela was Melanie’s age she wouldn’t even think to have Michaela sent to a Developmental Pediatrician, because back then they didn’t diagnosis until children were at least 2 to 3 years old. Today, they are finding out the earlier they diagnosis children and get them in to early therapies it can drastically change there overall outlook on teachingĀ  the children skills to help function more when they are older. Which I understand this reasoning, but I am still a little reserved in the fact that if Melanie is given a diagnosis, is this what she really needs at this point in time? This is what I am struggling with. I know that there are some fears that autism is being over diagnosis only for the purposes that some people do not have access to services and getting a diagnosis is the only way to get these services. Which is SAD if you really think about it.

I did realize after having a mini breakdown yesterday afternoon (as most of you know, I HATE CRYING and I will do anything to prevent it) I was able realize first, it will take about 3 to 6 months before Melanie will be seen by a developmental pediatrician because there is such a huge waiting list. (I am currently waiting for our pediatrician office to call me back with the appt with the developmental pediatrician.) Second, while writing this blog I’m able to reflect back and think that maybe it will be a good thing to have Melanie evaluated, to see where she really is in her development and where we need to improve on. Also, if she needs the extra services we will see what we can do.

After sleeping last night on the raw feelings I was having yesterday for example guilt, uncertainty, loss of control, shaken, and feeling unsure about myself as a parent. I’m feeling much better today. I feel rejuvenated and ready to take steps forward in this journey with Melanie!

Thank you for all the support for our wonderful family though this journey once again!